… has it really been a month since my last post?  Oy, vay.  In my defense, there’s been a lot going on.  Herewith an update.

1. Work has been a bit strange.  It’s amazing what a few weeks’ time will do, politics-wise.  Now I just need to convince my boss that she grossly underpays me for my work.  Note to Shannon … Would you remind Tracey of the injustice of it all?
   
2. Duane has successfully left Michigan, presumably never to return.  He made it to California in one piece — for which, I am most grateful.  I think he needed it.  Let us hope that he didn’t take his Michigan “cloud of doom” with him across the Rockies.  Eh, he’s probably sitting at Round Table Pizza with his three hot Asian girlfriends, playing WoW on his laptop (upgraded to two gigs of RAM, no doubt) and secretly getting ready — in his first assignment as a federal investigator — to bust Osama and disarm the nuclear bomb planted along the San Andreas.  Seriously.  It wouldn’t surprise me one bit.  The man’s like a portly little Shaolin monk, ready to strike at a moment’s notice, or maybe just to grab a diet Dr. Pepper.  You never can tell.
3. Duane out, Rick in.  Even though I’m working like a rabid monkey on crack trying to replace Duane in the office, Rick has come in as a part-time project coordinator.  And so far, so good — his desire to succeed is relieving (or is that re-living?) my stress headaches already.
4. God bless Tony Snyder.  Thanks to a psychological kick-in-the-butt swiftly delivered to me by him, over dinner and too much mid-grade wine, I’ve been building my own business.  Most of the administrative heavy lifting (IRS forms, LLC registration with the State of Michigan) is done, now I just need to finish arranging for a merchant processing account and life should be good.
5. What is this business, you ask?  It’s a subscription-only, human-edited daily news brief service.  My read on the market is either that I’ll do very, very well … or be out the couple hundred bucks that it’s costed me to start this baby.  Time will tell.  But it’s time to defecate or to descend from the porcelain throne.
6. And, in turn, I think (hope) I talked Tony into staring his own law practice.  Funny thing; I think he misunderestimates himself.
7. Maybe I’m onto something; lunch last week with Stacie featured me trying to convince her to strike out as a private “organizational dynamics” consultant of some sort.  She’d be good at it, too.  I’d hire her.  But then again, I’d be afraid not to. 🙂
8. It’s amazing how heroic people think you are for volunteering for a few days to help on a Habitat for Humanity house.  I did that the first few days of August — it was fun (and damnably hot), but what was interesting was the reaction of people when they found out.  It was as if the very ground upon which I trod was holy.  Don’t misunderstand; I’ll take holy auras whenever I can get them.  I just didn’t expect one in this case.

Enough for now.  I’ll have to do this more often.

* It appears that Rick is coming into my workgroup just as Duane makes his escape back to California. It’s unfortunate that there won’t be much of an overlap, and I regret seeing Duane go, but I think this will make him happier — and his happiness genuinely important to me. He deserves some inner peace.

Duane will depart in mid-August; I may actually accompany him to his new abode. A good, long road trip sounds delightful, actually.

* I’ve made more progress on starting a news-brief service. I’ve purchased the domain and am about to file papers to establish a Michigan LLC. Working on setting up the merchant account and subscription-management tools. I am actually enjoying this! If this works as I expect, I stand to make a fair amount of money — and if my read of the market is wrong, I’m really only out time, since my start-up costs are minimal. No real downside, and a lot of potential if I manage this correctly. Thanks to Tony for his words of encouragement.

* I recently bumped up my running rotation … I’m now up to eight miles. I start at 54th/Division, head south to 60th, east to Kalamazoo, north to 44th, west to Division, south to 54th. It’s exactly 8.0 miles. The distance isn’t hard at all, but I’m not especially swift — the first time out, it took 78 minutes to complete the course, which is odd given that my first mile is usually finished in about 7:15. I guess I’m more about endurance than speed.

• It appears that Rick is coming into my workgroup just as Duane makes his escape back to California. It’s unfortunate that there won’t be much of an overlap, and I regret seeing Duane go, but I think this will make him happier — and his happiness genuinely important to me. He deserves some inner peace.
  Duane will depart in mid-August; I may actually accompany him to his new abode. A good, long road trip sounds delightful, actually.
• I’ve made more progress on starting a news-brief service. I’ve purchased the domain and am about to file papers to establish a Michigan LLC. Working on setting up the merchant account and subscription-management tools. I am actually enjoying this! If this works as I expect, I stand to make a fair amount of money — and if my read of the market is wrong, I’m really only out time, since my start-up costs are minimal. No real downside, and a lot of potential if I manage this correctly. Thanks to Tony for his words of encouragement.
• I recently bumped up my running rotation … I’m now up to eight miles. I start at 54th/Division, head south to 60th, east to Kalamazoo, north to 44th, west to Division, south to 54th. It’s exactly 8.0 miles. The distance isn’t hard at all, but I’m not especially swift — the first time out, it took 78 minutes to complete the course, which is odd given that my first mile is usually finished in about 7:15. I guess I’m more about endurance than speed.

There is great benefit to thinking things through, to making informed decisions after careful reflection and logical analysis. But sometimes, on matters of great importance to the self, we hide a premise or two from our conscious thought — and exploring one’s own behavior can be the key to completing the syllogism and thus overcoming the mental barrier.

Yesterday I had a delightful dinner with my dear friend Tony. We went to a nice little restaurant in Okemos, Mich., and split a decent bottle of Merlot with our meal. During the conversation — which, despite that we had gathered to celebrate his birthday and his passage of the state bar exam, was dominated by discussion of me — he helped me to realize that some of my thinking about a number of personal and work-related issues was rooted in tunnel vision about my options.

In December 2004, I had to effect several personally challenging decisions about what I was doing, and why. As a result, I left the editorship of the Western Herald and put my graduate program on hiatus. And I don’t regret it for a minute. My breakthrough came when I realized that I had the option to simply walk away. Such knowledge is incredibly liberating.

And such knowledge was forgotten until Tony reminded me that I have other paths that could branch out before me.

Where will I be in three months? I honestly don’t know. I might be still gainfully employed at the hospital, doing what I do with data. Or, I might be preparing to re-launch my graduate studies while reaping the profits of a potentially quite lucrative business venture. Or, I might be getting ready to begin training as a Navy officer. Or, I might be working full-time as a journalist. Who can say? I can’t — and that’s rather fun.

Fundamentally, I forgot that I have options, and the false sense of entrapment that had been bugging me in recent weeks abated as I appreciated that my happiness is my own to create. When you have options, you have the freedom to put life’s frustrations into their proper place and to focus on what’s really important.

As Tracey might say … my chi has been restored. And all at the cost of a little trite psycho-philosophizing. Not bad.

I met my friend Corey for lunch today. I hadn’t seen him in more than a year; since we last met, he and his wife welcomed a daughter into the world and are expecting another child around Christmas.

The conversation was quite pleasant. I can tell that Corey’s perspectives on a lot of things are shifting. The discussion, for example, wasn’t focused on the past, but rather on the present.

As I look with growing horror at the big three-oh in September, I can’t help but reflect on how others have developed over the years. People like Corey, Rick, Duane and Tony have grown much in the years that I’ve known them. Probably Emilie, too, although I haven’t seen her in far too long. As for the rest I’ve encountered … of those I’ve known well, most have not (yet) adjusted well to life after the extended adolescence afforded by years of undergraduate education. And that’s a shame.

As Corey and I discussed — you can tell who has made peace with their new reality by judging what you talk about. With some people, all you can do is engage in acts of social memory, as if the ability to make new memories has somehow been obliterated. With others, the now-and-to-be is more important. These people, they get it. Fundamentally, they get it.

On the bright side, I have reason to add one more friend to my “get together at least once per fiscal quarter” list. Ha.

Without question, I need more time to reflect on whatever has been bothering me so much at work that I’ve been reduced to swearing at the IT people in meetings.  I had planned to take Friday-Monday-Tuesday off for the Independence Day holiday, but decided on Wednesday to leave early and take Thursday off, too.  Which is today.  And I decided, late yesterday, that I needed to “do something.”

So, this morning I rolled out of bed, drove to Chicago, and spent the day at the Field Museum and Shedd Aquarium.  I got to see the artifacts from King Tut’s tomb (including some amazing treasures so intricately crafted that I doubt contemporary artisans could do better — especially the golden dagger wrapped in Tut’s linens), and take in the other joys of the museum.  The Tut exhibit featured a roughly chronological narrative, displaying artifacts from the 18th dynasty in a series of themed galleries before ending with Tut’s artifacts.  Somewhat strangely, the final gallery emphasized the life of average Egyptians, which was discordant with the theme of the other galleries.  Additionally, the emphasis the exhibition placed on Tut’s position as the first restorer of traditional Egyptian religion after the upheaval of Egyptian-style monotheism seemed incongruous.  Yes, it was the major event of the day, but I’m not confident that weaving a purely religious monotheism-versus-polytheism motif throughout the exhibition would have the payoff among museum attendees as it might among antiquities scholars.

Of course, I did make the mistake of assuming that the “directions” provided by the Field Museum had some basis in reality.  So I ended up touring downtown Chicago before I made my way to the museum.  I was worried at first that I was 45 minutes late (the Tut exhibit has timed tickets, to avoid lengthy lines and overcrowding).  Fortunately, in addition to overlooking the need for a decent map, I also overlooked the implications of crossing into a different time zone, so I actually ended up being on-time for my designated hour.

Touring the Field Museum can generate an appetite.  So, after enjoying a delicious, authentic Chicago-style lunch (boiled generic hot dog with a bunch of crap on it, and a can of diet Pepsi), I meandered over to Shedd Aquarium.  Got to see the dolphin show, which was pleasant if not “Sea World spectacular.”  Duane would have loved the penguin habitat.  The various displays of a tropical rain forest were outstanding.

The trip back was also mildly vexing; I tried to time it so I’d miss Chicago’s rush hour, but alas, the fates conspired against me in the form of detours to even get onto the Dan Ryan, eastbound.  On the bright side, Illinois drivers seem more friendly and more in tune with the need for maintaining the flow of traffic than my fellow Michigan citizens.  I swear, if I’m ever elected to major office, I’m going to ban minivans.

In all, the trip lasted from 8:30 a.m. EDT to 10:00 p.m. EDT.  And I made the entire circuit in less than one tank of gas.  Woo!

Yeah, I need to get out more often.

I just returned from a six-mile run (yes, this late in the evening).  My time was just shy of 55 minutes, which isn’t great, but I’ll take it given that 18 months ago I couldn’t walk three flights of stairs in my office building without panting and sweating.  No joke.  And, almost 1/3 of my course is uphill, with a not insignificant 3/5-mile 10 percent grade at one point.

The great thing was, the run was no big deal.  My pulse at the finish line was just about 150, and I had no aches or pains along the way.  My breathing was not unduly labored.  In fact, along the last mile, I was daydreaming and didn’t even notice about a quarter-mile of the course.  Hee hee.

This is fun — good exercise, too.

A few unrelated observations:

1. I’ve installed Windows Vista Beta 2 and the betas of the various Microsoft Office 2007 apps. Apart from some mild inconveniences related to sound (Windows didn’t detect my AC97 audio and I had to manually install the drivers), things have been smooth. I am pleased with Microsoft’s latest offering, and IE7 and the newest Media Player are the best yet. If only I hadn’t deleted the partition table on my data drive, life would be great.

2. Shannon has been doing her best to fix me up with a cute vendor who occasionally stops by the office … she just needs to find the unmarried ones. Hint, hint. 🙂

3. My grandmother is preparing to move into a condo. She and her husband built their house more than 30 years ago, so it’s the only home of theirs that I’ve known. To be sure, it’s sad to see the “ancestral home” move to a new family — there’s something vaguely disconcerting to have such a rock of stability suddenly moved about — but this is good for Granny. And, I now have the chance to make new happy memories at her new condo.

4. Esse est percipi. Berkeley’s famous phrase — “to be is to be perceived” — is a philosophical touchstone of metaphysical idealism. But it occurs to me that there’s a less profound meaning to the concept, too. I do not ordinarily fuss much about my appearance, but I realized last week, as I was driving around, that some of what I had been doing was intended to foster a certain perception of me in the minds of others. When I realized what I was doing, I felt a bit foolish — but the temptation was powerful, and I viewed the seductive nature of peer pressure in a different light. When the goal isn’t to be one’s self, but to convey an artificial sense of self to others, the whole ethos of pop culture becomes much more obvious.

5. My dear friend Tony passed the bar. Woo hoo! I never doubted he could do it, and I’m quite proud of his accomplishments over the years.

I moved into my present accommodations about three years ago. At the time, I was quite pleased with the apartment complex and my new neighbors. The property was quiet, the relations distant but respectful, and the scenery (overlooking a duck pond) tranquil.

I’ve learned that for most of this time, the complex has been operating at less-than-full capacity. This has recently changed, however, and I’m curious as to whether property management lowered their standards to effect this increased occupancy rate.

Over the last six months, there has been a noticeable increase in the number of new residents who act as if they’re the only people in the building. Foot traffic (e.g., stomping) has been a constant nightmare, and now there are people everywhere — by the pond, at the door, on balconies — playing loud music and holding very public cell-phone conversations about fights, drinking, who’s cheating on whom, and court dates. In a grating patois of English, Spanish and “urban slang.” Twice in the last six months, I’ve had to call the police on noise disturbances from my neighbors.

A year ago, I would not have been too worried about leaving my door unlocked. I didn’t always know my neighbors personally, but we knew each other by sight, and there’s a certain comfort in that. Now, though, I don’t recognize many of them — and of the new residents, I feel as if I’ve stepped into a climate marked by a much lower degree of socioeconomic development.

My growing apprehension about my immediate environs is matched by a certain frustration about the economic development of Kent County, Mich. Historically, the suburbs of Grand Rapids grew counter-clockwise from the southwest, starting in Grandville and moving around through Wyoming/Kentwood and then to points north, along the East Beltline. The “West Side” — consisting of Walker and outer Grand Rapids on the west side of the Grand River — has been the last to grow, but the outer ring of suburbs is now effectively closed.

It looks, though, that the process is beginning again. I’ve been driving lately to points south of the Grand Rapids metro area, down to the Kent/Allegan county line. It is astonishing to see how many McMansions are popping up in developments in heretofore rural area along US-131, in Byron Center and various points south. Whether this is a function of the M-6/”South Beltline” development or the next phase of growth in the Grand Rapids area is beyond my ability to predict.

Yet, it raises the ugly specter of a long no-mans land between the revitalized urban core and the new, wealthy suburbs far along the periphery. I’m not sure there’s a coherent plan for ensuring that the miles and miles of developments in between don’t slide into decay.

Just three years ago, for example, the two strip malls by my apartment complex featured reasonable retail establishments. Those have gradually been replaced by a variety of check-cashing fronts, tanning salons, and other harbingers of socioeconomic malaise.

Perhaps this means nothing; perhaps I’m simply viewing my surroundings in a new way because of the changes to my own circumstances. Even if so, the signs of decay are growing. Will we, as a community, have the prudence to avoid the decline of metro Grand Rapids?

I am eager to see how this plays out, although it will soon be from a much different vantage point.